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The Joke Thread

RuneSR2RuneSR2 Posts: 3,748 Valuable Player
edited March 19 in Off-Topic
I'll be happy to start  o:)

After 20 years of marriage, a wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
She figures there's no harm in it if she's there with him, after all.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a glass of red wine.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink that?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real witch tonight, Dave."
Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 960 Evo M.2 SSD + Toshiba P300 HD; Windows 10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 - the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0. 

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
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Comments

  • Digikid1Digikid1 Posts: 2,050 Valuable Player
    RuneSR2 said:









    Amazingly that last one is 100% true!  LOL
  • LZoltowskiLZoltowski Posts: 6,774 Volunteer Moderator
    Guys, I really don't want things to get out of hand on this page. People are of different sensitivities and jokes tend to be a little bit too on the nose. Keep them clean or the thread is closing.
    Core i7-7700k @ 4.9 Ghz | 32 GB DDR4 Corsair Vengeance @ 3000Mhz | 2x 1TB Samsung Evo | 2x 4GB WD Black
    ASUS MAXIMUS IX HERO | MSI AERO GTX 1080 OC @ 2000Mhz | Corsair Carbide Series 400C White (RGB FTW!) 

    Be kind to one another :)
  • RuneSR2RuneSR2 Posts: 3,748 Valuable Player
    Fair enough - so no hardcore stuff - I hope this one won't cross the line  o:)





    (My motivation for this thread was to add some humor to the forum - in contrast to the often heated debates concerning new hardware and games.) 
    Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 960 Evo M.2 SSD + Toshiba P300 HD; Windows 10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 - the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0. 

    "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
  • MAC_MAN86MAC_MAN86 Posts: 2,262
    Wintermute
    KNOCK KNOCK...I said KNOCK KNOCK...ok BANG BANG...BANG BANG BANG...BANG BANG BANG BANG...
    gives in and kicks the door down!
    >Oh it's you!
    Yes I just wanted to ask you to turn the music down but now you need a new front door! :D :D
  • RuneSR2RuneSR2 Posts: 3,748 Valuable Player
    Posted on Reddit a few days ago, but I think it fits perfectly in this thread  B)

    Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 960 Evo M.2 SSD + Toshiba P300 HD; Windows 10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 - the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0. 

    "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
  • RedRizlaRedRizla Posts: 6,709 Valuable Player
    te
  • TadinTadin Posts: 304
    Trinity
    My Fav joke :-

    Before I had Children, I wanted 3.
    Now I have 2, I only want 1.


  • MAC_MAN86MAC_MAN86 Posts: 2,262
    Wintermute
    "Hey I Bought an Oculus!" - get it? LOL :D
  • MorgrumMorgrum Posts: 1,655 Valuable Player

    "It wont run on a 386" - get it? LOL  D

    INCOMMING!

    WAAAGH!
  • vannagirlvannagirl Posts: 2,002 Valuable Player
    Morgrum said:

    "It wont run on a 386" - get it? LOL  D

    INCOMMING!

    Lmao no but then I scrolled up
    Look, man. I only need to know one thing: where they are. 
  • MAC_MAN86MAC_MAN86 Posts: 2,262
    Wintermute
    edited April 27
    "People reported their problems on the Oculus Support Form", this is a joke to our friend @TomCgcmfc ;)

  • RuneSR2RuneSR2 Posts: 3,748 Valuable Player
    This one reminded me how careful we must be not letting a girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/whatever drink too much, because it so easily ruins that perfect evening or night you've planned in VR!

    Doloresjpg
    Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 960 Evo M.2 SSD + Toshiba P300 HD; Windows 10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 - the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0. 

    "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
  • Shadowmask72Shadowmask72 Posts: 3,779 Valuable Player
    MAC_MAN86 said:
    "People reported their problems on the Oculus Support Form", this is a joke to our friend @TomCgcmfc ;)

    That video is awesome thanks for posting. Joh-Kur. Joh-Kur - I think this might mean something else in Korean.


    System Specs: RTX 2080 ti , i9 9900K CPU, 16 GB DDR 4 RAM, Win 10 64 Bit OS.
  • RuneSR2RuneSR2 Posts: 3,748 Valuable Player
    edited May 24
    Maybe not that funny, but it does sum up many issues from the first week - click to enlarge:


    Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/oculus/comments/bsiq69/rift%C3%BCs/
    Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 960 Evo M.2 SSD + Toshiba P300 HD; Windows 10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 - the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0. 

    "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
  • Digikid1Digikid1 Posts: 2,050 Valuable Player

  • RuneSR2RuneSR2 Posts: 3,748 Valuable Player
    Just got these from a friend:




    Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 960 Evo M.2 SSD + Toshiba P300 HD; Windows 10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 - the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0. 

    "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
  • ervinsamu3lfxervinsamu3lfx Posts: 2
    NerveGear
    My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.
  • Digikid1Digikid1 Posts: 2,050 Valuable Player

  • bauuubassbauuubass Posts: 7
    NerveGear
    RuneSR2 said:
    Just got these from a friend:




    Cool stuff man :DD have to share this with my friends now 
  • RuneSR2RuneSR2 Posts: 3,748 Valuable Player
    A few more...







    Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 960 Evo M.2 SSD + Toshiba P300 HD; Windows 10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 - the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0. 

    "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
  • OmegaM4NOmegaM4N Posts: 585
    Neo
    edited August 12
    I had to go to the doctors last week as i had strawberries coming out of my bum..........he gave me some cream for them.

    Aye thang yaw.
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