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The Joke Thread
Valuable Player
I'll be happy to start 
After 20 years of marriage, a wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
She figures there's no harm in it if she's there with him, after all.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a glass of red wine.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink that?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real witch tonight, Dave."
After 20 years of marriage, a wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
She figures there's no harm in it if she's there with him, after all.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a glass of red wine.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink that?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real witch tonight, Dave."
Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 960 Evo M.2 SSD + Toshiba P300 HD; Windows 10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 - the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
7
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"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
ASUS MAXIMUS IX HERO | MSI AERO GTX 1080 OC @ 2000Mhz | Corsair Carbide Series 400C White (RGB FTW!)
Be kind to one another
(My motivation for this thread was to add some humor to the forum - in contrast to the often heated debates concerning new hardware and games.)
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
gives in and kicks the door down!
>Oh it's you!
Yes I just wanted to ask you to turn the music down but now you need a new front door!
Corsair Hydro H100i | Samsung SSDs: 860 Evo 1 TB, 850 Evo 1 TB, 840 Evo 1 TB | Seagate BarraCuda HDD 3 TB
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
Anyhoows
Pick a number between 1 and 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3 to that number.
Multiply by 3 again.
Add the 2 digits together.
Now discover your favourite film!
3. Oliver Twist.
4. Star Wars.
5. Forrest Gump.
6. Saving Private Ryan.
7. Jaws.
8. Grease.
9. The Joy of Anal Sex with Male Sheep & Oiled-Up Lady Boys.
10. Mary Poppins.
Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever
Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever
Before I had Children, I wanted 3.
Now I have 2, I only want 1.
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
"It wont run on a 386" - get it? LOL
INCOMMING!
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
System Specs: RTX 2080 ti , i9 9900K CPU, 16 GB DDR 4 RAM, Win 10 64 Bit OS.
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/oculus/comments/bsiq69/rift%C3%BCs/
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"