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The Joke Thread

RuneSR2
Level 16
I'll be happy to start  o:)

After 20 years of marriage, a wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
She figures there's no harm in it if she's there with him, after all.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a glass of red wine.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink that?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real witch tonight, Dave."
Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 Evo M.2 SSD 128GB (for OS) + Samsung EVO 860 4TB SSD (for games) + Toshiba P300 High-Performance HDD 3TB (for games); Win10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1, the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"
138 REPLIES 138

RuneSR2
Level 16
Just got this one - don't know if it's too politically incorrect these days, but I do have a lot of black humor, or so I'm told. This one is simply called "Chinese Wedding":

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Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 Evo M.2 SSD 128GB (for OS) + Samsung EVO 860 4TB SSD (for games) + Toshiba P300 High-Performance HDD 3TB (for games); Win10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1, the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

ElusiveMarlin
Level 7
5z9dzwdp4l86.jpg

RIFT CV1
RIFT S
Leeds, UK.

Intel Core i7 7700K 3.7GHz | RAM 32GB DDR4 2666MHz | GeForce GTX 1080 8GB |

"Behind every mask there is a face, and behind that a story...."

RuneSR2
Level 16
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Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 Evo M.2 SSD 128GB (for OS) + Samsung EVO 860 4TB SSD (for games) + Toshiba P300 High-Performance HDD 3TB (for games); Win10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1, the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

snowdog
Level 16
I'm REALLY worried about my mate. He can't stop buying cars. I think he might have the Car Owner Virus. 😄 😄 😄
"This you have to understand. There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken."

Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever

snowdog
Level 16
I'm really worried about ANOTHER mate now. He can't stop singing Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby songs. I think he might have the Crooner Virus. 😄 😄 😄
"This you have to understand. There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken."

Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever

RuneSR2
Level 16
How hard can it be? "Do-It-Yourself-Corona-Protection"  B)

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Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 Evo M.2 SSD 128GB (for OS) + Samsung EVO 860 4TB SSD (for games) + Toshiba P300 High-Performance HDD 3TB (for games); Win10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1, the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

RuneSR2
Level 16
The next 2 weeks schools, universities etc. are closed over here - so the kids are home - I'm looking forward to working from home tomorrow!

https://youtu.be/Mh4f9AYRCZY
Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 Evo M.2 SSD 128GB (for OS) + Samsung EVO 860 4TB SSD (for games) + Toshiba P300 High-Performance HDD 3TB (for games); Win10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1, the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

RuneSR2
Level 16
I fear the worst for my wife  :#

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Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 Evo M.2 SSD 128GB (for OS) + Samsung EVO 860 4TB SSD (for games) + Toshiba P300 High-Performance HDD 3TB (for games); Win10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1, the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

RuneSR2
Level 16
My new favorite corona supermarket/shopping song  ❤️

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

https://youtu.be/KNIZofPB8ZM
Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 Evo M.2 SSD 128GB (for OS) + Samsung EVO 860 4TB SSD (for games) + Toshiba P300 High-Performance HDD 3TB (for games); Win10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1, the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

RuneSR2
Level 16
I wonder if this small video clip will work...
Intel i7 7700K (4.5 GHz); MSI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100 MHz gpu boost, 11 GHz mem speed); 16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR4 3200 MHz; MSI Z270I Gaming Pro Carbon AC (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 Evo M.2 SSD 128GB (for OS) + Samsung EVO 860 4TB SSD (for games) + Toshiba P300 High-Performance HDD 3TB (for games); Win10 OS; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1, the latter nearly always using super sampling 2.0.

"Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"