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The Joke Thread

RuneSR2
Level 16
I'll be happy to start  o:)

After 20 years of marriage, a wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
She figures there's no harm in it if she's there with him, after all.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a glass of red wine.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink that?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real witch tonight, Dave."

i7 7700K (4.5GHz); MSI GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100MHz gpu boost, 11GHz mem speed); 16GB 3200MHz; MSI Z270I (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 NVMe 128GB (OS) + Samsung 860 4TB SSD (games) + Toshiba P300 HDD 3TB (games); Win10; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 using super sampling 2.0.      "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

144 REPLIES 144

snowdog
Level 16
 😄  😄 😄
"This you have to understand. There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken."

Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever

TomCgcmfc
Level 15

RuneSR2 said:

I wonder if this small video clip will work...


That guy really knows how to make very fast decisions, lol!
9 9900k, rtx3090, 32 Gb ram, 1tb ssd, 4tb hdd. xi hero wifi mb, Corsair 1000w. Rift cv1, Quest 1, Vive Pro.

RuneSR2
Level 16
Still at (home) work, sigh, but taking a small break to make this post  o:)

The true and easily overlooked corona heroes:
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pwqk52wi44xf.jpg

i7 7700K (4.5GHz); MSI GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100MHz gpu boost, 11GHz mem speed); 16GB 3200MHz; MSI Z270I (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 NVMe 128GB (OS) + Samsung 860 4TB SSD (games) + Toshiba P300 HDD 3TB (games); Win10; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 using super sampling 2.0.      "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

snowdog
Level 16
Prince Charles has got Covid 19.
Prince Edward has got Sally 14.

 😄 😄 😄 😄 😄
"This you have to understand. There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken."

Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever

RuneSR2
Level 16
Just when you thought music couldn't get any bigger - and that Queen wasn't ahead of their time  😄

https://youtu.be/jdwjxyA5Bo8

i7 7700K (4.5GHz); MSI GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100MHz gpu boost, 11GHz mem speed); 16GB 3200MHz; MSI Z270I (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 NVMe 128GB (OS) + Samsung 860 4TB SSD (games) + Toshiba P300 HDD 3TB (games); Win10; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 using super sampling 2.0.      "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

RuneSR2
Level 16
Why VR is perfect during corona quarantine  B)

53blc5kbs6g2.jpg

i7 7700K (4.5GHz); MSI GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100MHz gpu boost, 11GHz mem speed); 16GB 3200MHz; MSI Z270I (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 NVMe 128GB (OS) + Samsung 860 4TB SSD (games) + Toshiba P300 HDD 3TB (games); Win10; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 using super sampling 2.0.      "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"

snowdog
Level 16
Nail salons closed, Lash salons closed, Hair salons closed, Tanning salons closed, waxing salons closed...


It’s about to get ugly out there.  😄 😄 😄 😄 😄
"This you have to understand. There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken."

Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever

TomCgcmfc
Level 15

snowdog said:

Nail salons closed, Lash salons closed, Hair salons closed, Tanning salons closed, waxing salons closed...


It’s about to get ugly out there.  😄 😄 😄 😄 😄


Just wait until I have to rely on my wife to give me haircuts and/or cut my toenails, lol!
9 9900k, rtx3090, 32 Gb ram, 1tb ssd, 4tb hdd. xi hero wifi mb, Corsair 1000w. Rift cv1, Quest 1, Vive Pro.

FitBoy01
Level 3
su30bi6i4c66.jpg

RuneSR2
Level 16
Got this from a colleague - maybe some fun after all... 😉

____________________________________________

Note the words below. Initially, you will have difficulty reading them. However, gradually your brain will interpret the words correctly. Please give a chance for these words to speak to your brain. 

*Here we go!*


7H15                    M3554G3
 
53RV35          7O      PR0V3
 
H0W         0UR      M1ND5      C4N
 
D0         4M4Z1NG       7H1NG5!
 
1MPR3551V3            7H1NG5!
 
1N        7H3       B3G1NN1NG
 
17        WA5      H4RD      BU7
 
N0W,       0N    7H15       LIN3
 
Y0UR         M1ND      1S
 
R34D1NG 17         4U70M471C4LLY
 
W17H0U7            3V3N
 
7H1NK1NG      4B0U7     17,
 
B3      PROUD!        0NLY
 
C3R741N          P30PL3     C4N
 
R3AD           7H15!
 
PL3453         F0RW4RD     1F
 
U      C4N      R34D      7H15

This is a very good example of a Brain Study: *If you can read this, your mind is still young and has no Parkinson*

CONGRATS!

i7 7700K (4.5GHz); MSI GTX 1080 8GB Gaming X (oc 2100MHz gpu boost, 11GHz mem speed); 16GB 3200MHz; MSI Z270I (VR-Ready) mainboard; Samsung 961 NVMe 128GB (OS) + Samsung 860 4TB SSD (games) + Toshiba P300 HDD 3TB (games); Win10; Valve Index and Oculus Rift CV1 using super sampling 2.0.      "Ask not what VR can do for you – ask what you can do for VR"