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Wanted to share an excerpt relating to VR from the novel I am writing.

GenetixStudio
Superstar
I am writing a Cyberpunk novel titled "Day Dreamer", set in the year 2029. Just wanted to share an excerpt here about VR for anyone interested!

"As
Rider began to settle down, he remembered the data card in his
pocket. He had intended to drop it off in the lost and found section
at work, but had ended up becoming busy and forgot to do so before
leaving. He spun it around in between his fingers. His curiousity got
the best of him, and he synced it to his headset.

He
slipped the sleek black headset over his face, like a pair of
slightly large sunglasses. Inside were two screens each capable of
outputting 16k resolution at a solid 120 frames per second. The ends
of the headset near his ears did not directly output sound waves, but
rather used vibrations to simulate audio through his jawbone and
inner ear. The head set was able to create both an image and sound
that were so close to reality, Rider often could not tell the
difference. The headset was capable of positional and rotational
tracking as well. He could look up or down, left or right – and it
kept track of his movement instantaneously. He could lean in to look
at things, stand up, sit down, crouch, and walk around all while
being tracked perfectly.


He
sat there, in his dark and mostly empty room with no decorations to
speak of. Inside the headset he was somewhere else entirely. Inside
of the headset Rider was sitting at a desk atop of a white sandy
beach. An endlessly reaching ocean lay ahead of him, and tall healthy
palm trees lined the land scape just beyond the beaches shore. The
sounds of exotic wildlife could be heard behind him, and he was
calmed by sounds of crashing waves just a few yards in front of him.
This was where he felt at home."

Thanks for reading!

13 REPLIES 13

cybereality
Grand Champion
I'm listening to Neuromancer right now, and it's really funny to hear him talk about "1,000 MB" like it's some huge futuristic number (which, surely, it was in 1984). 
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Anonymous
Not applicable


I'm listening to Neuromancer right now, and it's really funny to hear him talk about "1,000 MB" like it's some huge futuristic number (which, surely, it was in 1984). 


I thought my 10MB HDD was massive when I got my 1st PC and I was so proud when I got my 300 bit/s modem.

Myrskalle
Protege



Myrskalle said:

"Inside were two screens each capable of
outputting 16k resolution at a solid 120 frames per second" – This part just seems out-of-place and pointless.


Have you read the Martian? Its full of technical jargon and specs. It's not an issue here either.


Nope, and I never will, but I work with writing/editing/proofreading every day and know what sounds good and what doesn't. In this case it just sounds odd and, as someone pointed out, breaks the natural flow of the text. Technical jargon can definitely have it's place in fiction, but you have to be careful about how you implement it and not just cram it in for the sake of it.

GenetixStudio
Superstar
Thanks for the awesome feedback everyone, I appreciate it. I have to admit, I am not a writer and because of that it is easy to phrase things wrong. I've had this story in my head for awhile, and although I develop video games, I wanted to find a different medium to express it and to also try something new out.

If you want to read more - especially how a Rubiks Cube works in VR - I've finished the first chapter and posted it here: https://www.booksie.com/475641-day-dreamer