So I've got all my sensors and the USB on the headset set up, they're all recognized. However, the HDMI cord is still not recognized, and I've tried everything I can think of. Uninstalling and reinstalling, unplugging and plugging back in on the computer and beneath the face mask, I've checked for damages on both ends of the cord. Is it maybe an issue with the laptop I have? (PS I know nothing about computers, so please explain it like I'm 5)
The short explanation is that if your laptop isn't "Oculus Ready" instead of just "VR Ready" you'll have about a 50% probability that it will be compatible with the Oculus Rift setup. Without even a "VR Ready" Laptop that probability drops to much, much lower.
If your laptop is Oculus Ready, you should send a support ticket to Oculus through their support page as it should work without need of tweaking settings. Or even consider a return/exchange if it's within those boundaries. (It sounds like you've already done some troubleshooting though)
If your laptop is only "VR Ready" we'll have to look at the make/model and see if others on the internet have the same problem, or if they've figured out how to fix it. "VR Ready" I think just means that the components inside are *on-paper* capable of supporting VR gameplay, not necessarily that they are connected in a way that the Oculus Rift can work. If your laptop is classified as neither of those, we can still take a look and see if your laptop has the chance of supporting Oculus (i.e. what is your laptop make/model?), but there's a much higher chance that the components and their connections inside your laptop are not capable of supporting an Oculus Rift VR setup.